I think people are like waterfalls. I have come to realize that my presence naturally unclogs people. Each person has different spots where leaves or debris have collected, everyone has their blockages.
I have felt other people have this effect on me. I don't even realize I'm clogged untill I feel the release, the sweat sweat release.
Usually when I unclog someone, I am unconscious that I'm having this effect. Sometimes this is a wonderful and amazing experience.
For example, I was volunteering at a community in Washington State. The man in charge of my work duties and I bonded. He was a little younger than me and taught me what to do around the farm.
He had very little management experience. As a production manager, I feel into the role of a mentor for him. I taught him how to handle different types of people. I taught him how to handle me, how to create a strong bond with me so that we were on the same team.
I found out a couple weeks into my stay that I would be expected to work two 14 hour days for an upcoming event to be held on the farm. I had not signed up for that kind of labor. I have pull many such shifts in my day and am not interested in reliving that kind of experience.
I told the management this.
The next day my manager protege approached me to talk. He said, "I have something difficult to talk to you about but oddly I am not worried. I know how you will react to this." He went on to tell me that the management needed me to leave, basically I was getting fired.
My protege and I had a lovely chat about it, I'm not being sarcastic. We hugged at the end, we both felt safe. He knew I was not afraid of change and that I would not lash out at him. We both got to experience the "firing" experience without the normal negative emotions that go along with.
We unclogged a leaf blockage in each others waterfall.
I realize that had I not taught him to understand me, he would have come to that conversation with fear and that experience would not have been pleasant.
I have had many of these good unblocking experience. I have also suffered through many bad unblocking experiences as well.
When the other person is unprepared, when they don't know what is happening, when there is too much fear, lashing out is common. Some of my friends are going through that with me right now.
I try to explain what is happening but they are in too much pain to be able to hear.
Often when this unblocking goes wrong, the other person will mistake themselves for me.
For example, some people think I'm too angry, others think I'm too sad. Some people say I'm too loud others say I'm too quiet. None of that is me, it is their own reflection they are seeing.
I am slowly learning how to make these more difficult experiences more gentle. I am slowly learning to be more conscious of this unblocking effect I have on people. I prepare them the best I can. For those that slip through the cracks, I'm learning how to turn their fall into flying.